At Work Today
by AspergianStoryteller
Summary: Some funny stories about Eren, Armin and Mikasa's days in the Scouting legion. Chapter 5: Every now and then, they receive a grim reminder that accidents occur when using 3DMG, even if you're an experienced soldier.
1. Tea and buns

_At Work Today_

Some touching (but mostly funny) stories about Eren, Armin and Mikasa's days in the Scouting Legion. (Set during the month before the 57th expedition.)

I don't own Attack on Titan.

* * *

Chapter 1: Diversity (This is supposed to be about culture)

**Tea and buns**

'Pancakes! Pancakes!'

'Try our breakfast menu! Hash browns and egg!'

'Jasmine tea!'

The calls of stallkeepers ring out loudly, invitingly. The smells of hot food and drink fill the air of the village market. It's Mikasa's day off, and she's got several hours to spend with her friends and commrades, free of work.

Each day of the week the Scouts take turns to leave HQ and relax. Saturday is Mikasa's turn; she shares it with the 104th Training Squad and several older scouts, including a few vets and the Special Operations Squad, who are here to watch over Eren.

Wenig Aurich is a medium sized village a few hours ride away from the castle, so they were up before sunrise. Before breakfast too, but the market makes up for that. Mikasa buys a warm bread roll from a young woman who stares at her a bit.

'Oo, that looks nice!'

Sasha appears suddenly behind Mikasa, peering around her.

'I'll have one too!'

Mikasa remembers she's here with friends and looks around to check where they all are (they're in civilian clothes so it takes a minute spot them in the crowd).

Armin and Eren are just across the street, buying roasted nuts. Connie, Jean, Bertholt and Reiner are a few stalls down. Ymir and Krista are looking at knitted jackets with a couple of older scouts.

'Here's the money, Amelia. A bun for me and something for you.'

A woman's voice catches Mikasa's attention. She looks around. There, next to the roasted hazelnuts stall, a middle-aged woman with long, dark hair is selling red tea, a drink that was popular in Shiganshina. Eren and Armin have noticed her too.

'Excuse me,' says Armin. 'Are you from Shiganshina?'

The woman blinks and smiles in delighted surprise.

'That I am! Are you also from there?' Her accent is familiar. Abrupt and throaty, like they haven't heard in ages, and it brings back memories.

'We are!' Eren joins in.

'All three of you?' Mikasa nods as she joins the boys.

'I'm Johanna,' the woman introduces herself. 'I'm a midwife in this village now.' The hundreds of adults and few thousand kids who escaped Wall Maria would take years to assimilate into Wall Rose - most of them were still living and working in the landfills, but skilled people like medical professionals could leave much sooner.

'Who are you dears? Have you just moved here?' Oh, they could be talking to a shopkeeper or neighbour back home.

'I'm Armin Arlet.'

'Mikasa Ackerman.'

'Eren Yeager.'

'Yeager? Are you related to Dr Yeager?'

'Yeah.'

She asks them, carefully, about themselves, where is Grisha Yeager, are they working now? Johanna spent several months in the landfills with her mother before appealing for work and relocation and wound up here.

'We joined the Military,' Armin tells her. 'It's our day off.' As far as they know, the three of them are only people from Shiganshina who have enlisted since the Wall was breached.

'Oh my, where are you stationed?'

'We're in the Scouting Legion,' Eren says proudly. Johanna gasps and drops a tea spoon on her table.

'The Scouting Legion?' she murmurs, face paling. 'You want to face those creatures again?'

'I'm going to avenge my mum,' says Eren with that burning, unapologetic look in his eyes. 'I'm gonna kill all the titans and see the outside world.'

Mikasa doesn't want an argument with the first Shiganshina person they've met in a long time, so she changes the topic.

'Tell us about your job, Johanna. How busy are you here?'

The people of Shiganshina love to talk about their work - Johanna's face lights up and she tells them how it's less busy here so she has time to train student nurses and sell tea, how she delivered twins last week...

'Hey, Mikasa, there's a table selling these neat looking combs over there.'

Jean and Connie join the line for nuts beside them, and Jean's rough, yet sharp Trost accent is suddenly more noticable.

'One bag please.' Connie's accent is light, smooth and fast.

'Are you buying tea?' asks Jean.

She didn't plan too, but it has been a long time.

'I'll have a cup, please.'

'Me too.'

'And me, please.'

Red tea is sweet and spicey, made from rooibos leaf, rosehips, and lemon grass. The first sip brings tears to Mikasa's eyes.

'Are guys OK?' Connie asks when Armin sniffles and Eren's eyes water.

'Yeah,' Armin says.

'This takes me back,' Eren sighs like an old man. 'We used to drink this in Shiganshina.'

'You sound like an old man, Eren,' Armin snorts.

'Shush,' Eren mutters and drinks too quickly. 'Ow!'

Everyone save for a very confused Johanna flinches away from Eren. His eyes widen as he realises what just happened.

There's a long pause.

'I jus' burned my tongue.'

'Geeze,' Jean mutters.

'Shit, that was dangerous,' sighs Connie. 'Eren, be more careful!'

Mikasa notices then that the Special Operations Squad have all popped out and were subtly reaching for their concealed swords. Gunther and Eld are still standing in a line.

'Hey, are you gonna order?'

'Oh, yes, I'll have a fruit bun, thanks,' says Gunther.

* * *

**Birthdays**

_'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you!'_

The sound of singing grows louder as Mikasa nears the dining hall.

_'Happy birthday dear Anneke! Happy birthday to you!'_

Mikasa enters and finds the source of the singing at the table where stacks of toast, bowls of porridge, plates and other breakfast things are laid out; the breakfast duty team is singing to an young woman who's laying out the knives and forks.

'Oh, it's someone's birthday,' says Krista, who entered at the same time. 'They must be from Trost, remember they sing that there?'

'I wonder if they'll 'ave a cake?' wonders Sasha. (1)

'I doubt it,' says Ymir.

The dining hall is soon filled and Mikasa's table talks about the different birthday celebrations from their hometowns.

'We used to 'ave feasts,' says Sasha dreamily. 'Back before the food shortages. Huge roast boar, buttery mashed potato, flowing cider...'

'In my village we have dance parties,' Connie reminices. 'Grandpa George would always play his violin when you walked by him.'

'Loads of party games in my town,' says John. (2)

'I heard Commander Erwin's from a place where they slap you with an expensive fish for good luck!'

'What did you do in your hometown, Krista?' asks Sasha.

'Oh... we had treats at dinner,' she says.

Mikasa already knows many different traditions from their training days, where trainees (and teachers) from all over the land mixed. Trost had the happy birthday song and cake, Marco's hometown had name pastry, Sina had fancy, expensive lollies, to name a few.

'Don't you do something with flowers?' asks Connie.

'Yeah, we wore flower crowns in Shiganshina,' says Armin.

They'd had no shortage of flowers at home, so they appeared in a lot of Shiganshina traditions.

'Oh yeah,' Jean sniggers, 'Eren looked funny covered in daisies that day.'

Actually, he'd looked very sweet in Mikasa's opinion. Armin too, in his daffodil crown. The teachers kept mistaking him for Krista.

'When's your birthday, Mikasa?' asks Jean. 'I'm sure you look nice with flowers.'

'Look!' Sasha gasps, pointing. 'That's a really nice cake!'

A beautiful cake covered in honeysuckle petals is making its way to Anneke. Considering how strapped for cash the Scouting Legion is, it's probably a very basic cake underneath the petals.

'I wonder where it came from?'

'Someone probably made it here,' says Armin.

'It could've been Squad Leader Hange,' Eren guesses. 'She's a pretty decent baker.' (3)

Loud laughter replaces the singing as Anneke's cake is smooshed into her face.

'Ah, the cake-face,' sighs Heke. 'Karanese District.'

* * *

**Variety in pyjamas (then not in pyjamas)**

_Shhhhhhhh..._

Steam seeps under the bathroom doors and billows up the hallway where lines have formed.

'I hope the men aren't using all the hot water,' says an older girl.

'I hope no one's using my soap,' says an older boy.

It's still early in the morning, before breakfast, and everyone waiting for a shower is still in their pyjamas. There's quite a variety. Fluffy dressing gowns, nightshirts, baggy trousers and shirts, even a few bold people in underwear.

Mikasa's got on a plain nightshirt she was given by a teacher during training (it's getting too small for her). Eren and Armin are waitng for showers too, in the shirts also donated by teachers. A lot of the trainees from Wall Maria joined the Military with little more than the clothes on their backs and relied on donations from teachers and generous soldiers.

'Hey, you've got pretty small feet for your height,' Connie remarks, looking down at Mikasa's bare feet.

'Yes.' So do Armin and Eren. Small feet and hands were common in Shiganshina District, and it's hard to find uniform boots fit for long legs and little feet.

'You've got big feet,' Connie continues, looking at Reiner and Bertholt now. 'Is that native to your hometown?'

'Yeah.' Reiner smirks. 'You know what else is big?' Bertholt blushes and kicks him.

'Your ego,' interrupts Ymir.

Everyone's giggling, even the oldest scouts, when a deep, baritone voice suddenly booms out from the men's bathroom.

_'Che bella cosa è na jurnata 'e sole, n'aria serena dopo na tempesta!'_

'Who's that?'

_'Pe' ll'aria fresca para già na festa... Che bella cosa na jurnata 'e sole.'_

_'Ma n'atu sole cchiù bello, oi ne','_

Another voice, higher, joins in. Then another, in falsetto, and soon there's a whole chorus going in there.

_''O sole mio sta nfronte a te!'_

_''O sole, 'o sole mio, sta nfronte a te,'_

_'Sta nfronte a te!'_

Mikasa's not familiar with this song, but she's heard others similiar, and she knows it's in a language older than the Walls. Even though people aren't supposed to talk about the outside world, there are still a few different languages left over from it.

The song finishes and they all applaud the singers.

'I'm sure one of them was Squad Leader Mike,' says John.

'I heard Eld and Oluo,' Eren smiles. 'I wonder if Captain Levi is in there.' (4)

As they wait for the singers to come out, there's a conversation muffled by the showers near the door.

'Wait for one of us to get them.'

'- Only across the hall.'

'But -'

The men's bathroom door opens, releasing a wall of steam. Commander Erwin walks out wearing nothing but a small towel around his waist. His bare skin is pale and damp, littered with bruises and scars.

Someone gasps in shock.

'Commander, the women's room is right next door!' someone inside calls out.

The commander freezes in the middle of reaching for linen cupboard and looks around.

'Oh, um, sorry, we're out of towels...'

He steps back, slips, and flings out his arms to balance himself. His towel drops.

'Whoa!'

Mikasa sees more of the commander than she wants to - curly hair and something dangling - before she turns her head aside, face burning.

Ymir quickly puts her hand over Krista's eyes and bursts into loud cackles.

Sasha shrieks in surprise and turns away.

'Oh my god!'

A two hands slide over Mikasa's eyes - they belong to Armin and Eren.

'Geeze, Erwin, did you do that on purpose, you show off?' Squad Leader Levi pokes his head out and rolls his eyes at the scene.

'Oi, when you've finished oogling your commander, someone fetch a pile of towels from the linen,' he orders. 'Erwin, get your arse back in here.'

Everyone laughs, even the commander, who ducks back into the bathroom blushing.

* * *

_Notes and Translations_

The song is _O Sole Mio_, sung by a few different people, but written by Giovanni Capurro and composed by Eduardo di Capua.

(1) When exactly did Ymir talk to Sasha about being herself, accent and all? Oh well, let's say she has by now.

(2) Didn't like, 21 cadets from the 104th training Squad join the Scouts? We don't really see much of them. John is one. And Heke.

(3) Hajime Isayama-Sensei actually didn't specify Hange's gender in the manga because he felt that character could be either. The anime seems to portray Hange as female though, and the English gender-netural pronouns it/they don't feel quite right, so I'll use she/her. He/his/him is equally OK to use, though.

(4) Levi's title in Japanese is _Heishicho_ \- leader of the soldiers / person viewed as the strongest soldier. Scouts, probably especially the people in his squad often shorten this to Heicho - Captain, I think. As for his actual rank... he's a squad leader, along with Hange, Mike and one other person serving under Erwin. Under them is one senior team leader/assistant sqaud leader, then eight (?) team leaders. More info about their structure on the AoT wiki. (_Heicho_ is also an archaic rank from the Japanese Imperial Army roughly about Lance Corporal, actually really low ranking. Offical translations call Levi "Captain." Information from AoT Wiki and Tumblr.)

About Eren's name: The German origin is _Jagar/Jaeger_ (hunter), which looks really cool, but the official romanised spelling on the wiki (and ff dot net character category) is Yeager, so I'm gonna go with that. As for other characters... yeah, probably also the wiki.


	2. Cold

_At Work Today_

Some funny stories about Eren, Armin and Mikasa's days in the Scouting Legion. (Set during the month before the 57th expedition.)

I don't own Attack on Titan.

* * *

Chapter 2: Cold

_Shit, I'm cold_, thinks Armin.

'Shit, it's freezing!' Jean swears, pulling his blanket on tighter.

The others don't need to be reminded; they're all huddled around the dining room tables with every blanket in the base, as close to each other as possible. The big fireplace in the wall is smouldering away with rationed wood. Armin feels sorry for Eren and Squad Leader Hange, who are doing an experiment outside in the surprise snowstorm.

'When it's cold your body needs more food,' says Sasha hopefully.

Armin isn't sure if he wishes the castle needed cleaning; the work would warm him up, but then he'd have to get up and take his blankets off.

'Does anyone wanna play cards?' asks one of the adult scouts.

'Yeah, why not?'

'Sure.'

There's soon a round of Snap going at the next table, and a couple of chess matchs pop up.

'I've got a deck of cards in our room,' Connie offers, but he's hesitant to go get them.

'Do you think Commander Erwin and Squad Leader Levi will stay in town overnight?' Krista wonders.

'Probably,' says Ymir. She and Krista have their blankets wrapped around the two of them.

'They wouldn't try riding back in this weather,' Jean agrees.

...

'How about Paper-Scissors-Rock-Soldier-Titan?'

'Oh stuff it!'

Connie springs up and sprints away to grab his cards. Too bad. Armin often wins Paper-Scissors-Rock-Soldier-Titan.

They argue over which game to play and decide on Black Widow, to be followed by Poker. It's difficult keeping your hand secret when they're all huddled close together.

A few rounds later Mikasa is leading in points with three Aces and five Kings and Armin wonders if Squad Leader Hange and Eren are done yet. Eren might be warm in his heated titan body, but the squad leader and her assistants must be freezing out there, not matter how warmly they are dressed.

Just remembering how warm Eren's titan body is makes Armin feel the cold more. He wishes Eren was here now.

Jean has just laid down another Queen when Squad Leader Hange bursts into the hall, bringing a gust of cold air with her. She speaks loudly over their complaints about the cold,

'If you wanna get warm, come outside with me and Eren!'

Everyone is confused, so she explains, excitedly.

'Eren's titan body is much hotter than a human's,' the squad leader gushes. 'So I had the idea of putting up a tent around him. Eren's already agreed to it, so feel free to come in!'

Considering that Eren can't talk in his titan body, only make grunts or screams, Armin wonders about his consent to this.

'Is she saying that we should cuddle up with Eren!?' Jean's face scrunches in distaste. Everyone else in room is looking at Squad Leader Hange in disbelief and wearyness.

'You don't have to cuddle him - there's a tent. Room enough for everyone.'

That's enough for Armin. And for Mikasa, who is putting down her cards. The rest of the 104th Training Squad follow them and soon everyone is going outside, their curiousity aroused.

Eren is right beside the building, laying on his back with several tarpaulins draped over him. They are propped up with some tent poles and tied to the castle roof, with two enormous feet poking out.

Most of the 104th (and several older scouts) burst into laughter. Jean and Connie actually fall to their knees, gasping and pointing.

'Do you mind, Eren?' Petra asks, stiffling her giggles.

'Uhh,' Eren growls.

'Mind his stomach!' Squad Leader Hange warns them. 'He's ticklish!' She sounds too pleased. Armin and Mikasa had known their friend was ticklish, though not in this body. Jean and Connie, by the smirks on their faces, didn't know.

'This is ridiculous,' says an adult who's name Armin doesn't know yet. He and many of the older scouts hover uncertainly outside. Mikasa is the first to follow Squad Leader Hange into Eren's tent, and stands by his shoulder. Armin goes to stand beside her - the ground is still damp with melted snow.

They're close enough to see Eren's pointed ear poking through his hair, which feels just like human hair. His rough skin is very hot and they try not to touch it with their own bare skin.

The 104th Training Squad's Black Widow game resumes when Connie and Sasha bring a smaller table and cards in. Seeing this, the adults decide it's too cold outside and squeeze in. It's crowded, (over one hundred people. The rest are away on training courses) but very warm.

XXX xxx XXX

'What the hell is going on here?'

They all turn (or peer over Eren's giant limbs) to see Squad Leader Levi and Commander Erwin at the entrance by Eren's head. Squad Leader Levi glances at the new recruits playing Poker, at the adults sipping tea and decides to address Squad Leader Hange.

'Hange. I suspect this is your idea.'

She cheerfully explains how they wound up using Eren as a heater while everyone squirms. Even Eren.

'This is not how we're supposed to use Eren's power,' Squad Leader Levi says. He looks tired.

'It's a good experiment,' Commander Erwin adds. 'But we'll finish now. Squad Leader Levi and I brought some firewood in town, which is why we came back in this weather. It's enough for tonight, so everyone back inside now.'

His words are a relief; with the wood running low they were expecting a cold night, or a cramped one. Tonight's kitchen duty scouts leave to make dinner while the rest pack away the makeshift tent.

Squad Leader Levi cuts Eren out of his titan body and leaves Armin and Mikasa to help him inside to recover.

'Looks like there's enough for every room,' Armin says, watching their friends carrying armfulls of chopped logs in. Every bunkroom has a small fireplace in it, besides the dining room, recreation and kitchen.

Mikasa frowns.

'Eren, there's not a fireplace in your room, is there?' Eren had shown her and Armin his room in the basement when they arrived. It didn't have a fireplace.

'Maybe they'll put a portable wood burner down there?' Armin hopes. Or they could just let Eren move in with the others already. There's room. And Eren's sleep talking isn't _that _bad.

'More blankets is fine, but I'd really like a wood burner.' Eren looks like he'll fall asleep at the table.

He perks up by the time dinner's ready, which is nachoes. Petra overdoes it on the spice so no one is cold while they eat.

Eren is on dishes after dinner with Armin's bunkmates. He and Jean are flicking bubbles at each other when Squad Leader Levi approaches them. It's funny how Eren stiffens and checks the floor for mess.

'Eren. When you're done here, get a wood burner from the wood shed.'

Eren's face lights up with relief.

'Yes, Sir!'

'By the way,' the squad leader adds. 'Tomorrow morning, you'll work with Hange's squad again.'

There's a gleam in his cold eyes.

'They're going to measure you for a proper tent.'


	3. Growing up

_At Work Today_

Some funny stories about Eren, Armin and Mikasa's days in the Scouting Legion. (Set during the month before the 57th expedition.)

I don't own Attack on Titan.

* * *

Chapter 3: Growing Up

Eren frowns at his reflection in the men's bathroom mirror. He leans closer. There's a pimple on his cheek, but that's not what's bothering him this morning.

There's something on his chin. Eren touches it; it's hair. Not the baby peach fuzz he's used too. Proper facial hair, the beginnings of a beard.

Well it's about time, he supposes. Several guys from his training squad already have facial hair. Reiner, Bertholt, Johan, even Armin just started shaving a couple of weeks ago. (A couple of weeks ago feels like forever now.)

He doesn't really want to grow a beard or moustache though, so he'll need a razor.

Eren's on breakfast duty with Commander Erwin and Captain Levi's Special Operations Squad today, dishing out toast and cereal. He asks them if they're going into town today.

'What's it to you?' asks Eld, bringing out another pile of bowls.

'Um, I need to buy a razor,' says Eren.

'What do you need a razor for?' asks Oluo, suspiciously.

'For shaving.'

Petra, laying out cutlery, peers closely at Eren's face.

'Oh my. You're growing up, Eren.'

Eld and Oluo grin at him.

'The next expedition to town will get you one,' Levi decides. 'This will be your first time shaving, right?'

'Yes.'

'We'll have to be careful then. Don't attempt anything until I tell you.'

Squad Leader Hange and one of her teams are also on breakfast today, and she pops out of nowhere, with a knife, to examine Eren's face. It's a short, slender knife, dripping red.

'Oo, how long has it been this long, Eren?' she grins. 'Is this one day's growth? Two? Have you got adult hair anywhere else?'

Eren nearly drops the jam. His face burns red under Squad Leader Hange's fingers.

'Squad Leader Hange!' Petra squawks. Eld and Oluo burst into laughter. Commander Erwin hides a smile under a cough.

'Oi, Hange, go finish cutting the tomatoes,' Captain Levi growls, coming to Eren's rescue.

Armin, who's up early today, even though he's not on breakfast duty, wanders in. Eren hopes he didn't overhear Squad Leader Hange.

'Do you want to borrow my razor, Eren?'

'That's unhygienic,' says Captain Levi. 'He can put up with a bit of hair for a day.'

XXX xxx XXX

The next day a couple of Squad Leader Mike's teams go shopping in the morning while everyone else is busy with training or maintenance. Eren helps the vets out in the morning and cleans toilets in the afternoon. Connie calls this the double-shit-shift. By the time he's had a shower the shopping expedition are back and having afternoon tea.

Captain Levi waves him over to his table.

'After afternoon tea, we'll go outside and have you try shaving,' he says, gesturing for Eren to sit down with his milk. 'It'll be like the previous experiment.'

'Um, will I be down the well again, Sir?' Yum, they've got shortbread biscuits today.

'No, but we will be acting with the same caution, in case you cut yourself and transform.'

'Yes, Sir.' Eren really hopes he won't transform. There are too many everyday things turning into potential disaster. He was only allowed to cut his own food up after nearly a week here.

Twenty minutes later, the Special Operations Squad, plus Hange and one of her senior science assistants are outside with a small table and shaving kit. There's a bowl of hot water, soap, shaving cream, a razor and a towel. The Special Ops have their swords ready (but this doesn't worry Eren as much as it did last time).

What looks like the entire Scouting Legion is lurking around to watch the spectacle, though they're supposed to be working. Yeah, he can totally see them peering from the stables and perched all over the castle.

Captain Levi is standing next to Eren, holding the razor. Any one of the guys could have shown Eren how to do this, but it has to be the captain, in case Eren transforms.

'Wash your face first,' says Captain Levi. 'Now dry it. OK, now rub this over your lower face, wherever there's hair.'

The shaving cream looks like whipped cream and is cold on Eren's skin.

He reaches for the razor, but Captain Levi pushes his hand down.

'I'm gonna do the first few strokes so you get a feel for it. Hold still.'

There's someone snickering (sounds like Squad Leader Hange and some of the 104th Training Squad, who are meant to be horse-riding).

Captain Levi holds Eren's head still with one hand and carefully, precisely, shaves a line down Eren's cheek with the other. The razor is simple steel blade with a wooden case attached by screw. The blade make Eren's skin prickle.

After a few strokes, he gets to try it himself.

Scrape. Scrape. Scrape.

'Slower,' breathes Captain Levi's deep voice. He guides Eren's hand to show him. 'Gentle, like you're taking the top off an egg.'

One cheek is slowly wiped clean. Under his nose is harder; the cream tickles there. He does his other cheek himself. Then down, over the edge of his jaw.

There's a stinging pain. Captain Levi's hand casually lands on his 3D Maneuver Gear handle. The Special Ops Squad tense up.

Eren looks at the blood under his chin in the mirror, shuts his eyes, and takes a deep breath.

That was an accident, he tells himself. I don't need to transform. I'm not going to transform.

'Eren?'

'Sir.' Eren opens his eyes. 'Sorry. I'm OK.'

He finishes without any other injuries, to everyone's relief. Captain Levi makes him wash his razor properly, and wipe leftover shaving cream off his neck and hair (how did it get on his eyebrows?).

His cheeks feel cold and smooth, but a little rougher than they used to be. Eren feels older now, a little more grown up.

'For the time being, you'll shave out here, under my, or the Special Ops Squad's supervision,' Captain Levi tells him.

Ah. The grown up feeling is gone.


	4. Field training

_At Work Today_

Some funny stories about Eren, Armin and Mikasa's days in the Scouting Legion. (Set during the month before the 57th expedition.)

* * *

Chapter 4: Field training

_Psssshhh! Thunk! Psssshhh! Thunk! Psssshhh!_

_Whooooosh!_

Wind whistles in Mikasa's ears and through her hair as she flies through the trees.

Up! Down! Swing! Up!

Her 3D Maneuver Gear propels her further into the small forest. She hangs behind the others, enjoying the way her stomach flutters as she falls and rises.

_Psssshhh! Thunk! Psssshhh! Thunk!_

'Whoooo!' Connie hollers up ahead.

Reiner, Jean and Eren shoot after him, resembling big green birds. Ymir, Sasha and Krista race to join them. More of the 104th Training Squad are here too, soaring like free birds.

For now, the older scouts supervising allow them to freestyle.

The Special Operations Squad are here, keeping their eyes on Eren, who is trying to race Jean.

Armin stays with Mikasa, which is nice, he's good company for flying. Bertholt is keeping pace with them too (according to the boys' report, he was sprawled upside-down, face down this morning, which usually means a warm day).

'Alright everybody! Right over there!' Squad Leader Hange's voice rings out. 'Follow Squad Leader Mike!'

He leads everyone to a part of the forest indistinguishable from the rest of it. Mikasa wonders how he knew where to go. The scent? Considering it's Squad Leader Mike, this may actually be the case.

'How did he know it's this place?' a boy Mikasa's not close to wonders.

'Maybe it smells different?' says Sasha.

'Is everyone settled?' asks Squad Leader Hange. 'Good. We'll all split into our groups and get to work.'

'If you're not finished by sunset, you're dead,' adds Captain Levi.

'In this case, you won't get dessert.'

Sasha would steal some dessert if she had too, and she wouldn't be alone - there are many great cooks among the Scouts. If Squad Leader Hange's made chocolate chip piklets, there will certainly be an attack on the supplies.

The teams were sorted before the start of the trip - Mikasa's not with Eren. She understands why, sort of, but she's still pissed off. At least he's with Armin.

Mikasa's got Ymir and Krista in her group, who are OK, and a few of the other graduates.

Squad Leader Hange takes them a short way West, where several tall, thin trees are crowded together.

They split into smaller teams now, these ones not yet decided. Mikasa joins three graduate boys and a few older scouts in sawing off branches to build their shelter with. She learns to tie a rope around a branch before she cuts it; it'll hang from a higher branch when it's been sawed off. They only learnt to saw smaller branches during training.

After leaving the wood in a secured pile, they take turns keeping watch and shooting down to get fallen wood from the ground.

'Thirty seconds, you'd better be nearly done!'

Mikasa pulls the knot tight and flies up, five seconds behind John. They all haul the larger wood up to be cut.

They really only covered the basics of tree-houses in the Training Squad, like, make a lean-too wall and tie your body to the tree.

They start building quite high, maybe twenty-five metres up. While they lay down the biggest logs and tie them in place, the older scouts quiz them on survival theory.

'Why do we spread out into small groups for sleeping?' asks an older girl.

'To spread out the human concentration and separate the titans!' A textbook answer.

'And to increase our survey view!'

A rough, criss-cross floor goes down, followed by walls and a partial roof - they need to be able to fly out quickly.

'I'm impressed,' says Squad Leader Hange. 'Very nice and cosy. I bet our's is the best!'

It is. Everyone has dinner here, though it's crowded. Mikasa, Eren and Armin sit outside with their bread and soup.

'Captain Levi made us scrub all the bird poo and cicada shells off,' Armin says, showing Mikasa his worn out hands.

'It was gross,' says Eren.

OK, maybe being separated from her brothers isn't so bad for once, if it gets her away from that jerkarse midget. Cleaning bird poo isn't going to hurt them.

XXX xxx XXX

Hours later, a senior scout wakes Mikasa up for their watch.

The "room" is warm and crowded. Krista snores away next to a quiet Ymir. Squad Leader Hange sprawls half over one of her team leaders.

'Let's go, Mikasa,' says the older girl. Her name is Sarah.

They sit on branches that give them a good view of below, and it's a good view - the full moon is out tonight.

Mikasa sees stars through gaps in the canopy, and shaggy tree shadows on the ground. About a hundred metres away she can see the lamps carried by the watch in Eren and Armin's treehouse.

_Shhhhh... Shhhhh..._

The lights in the other tree move. It's not someone changing position - someone's getting up and climbing.

Sarah turns to look too. When a light is moved in circles, she signals back, and tells Mikasa to wait here.

There's jars of fireflies and glowing fungus hung in the trees between shelters in case they need to move at night - so far they're only good for short, practised routes, but it'll do. They get Sarah over to the other treehouse safely.

Is this a drill? Mikasa wonders.

A minute after Sarah left, Mikasa is signaled again. She wakes Squad Leader Hange first.

'We'll both go over,' she decides, waking her team leaders. 'I'll send you back over here when we know what's up.'

They land safely at the next treehouse, where scouts from the other groups have arrived by now.

'Eren saw something suspicious on watch,' Petra informs them all. 'Captain Levi and Eld went to check it out.'

'I thought it looked like titans,' Eren says. 'Smaller ones.'

Everyone stiffens in shock, even Mikasa. Titans in Wall Rose? She hopes not. Shit, that'd be really bad.

After a few minutes, Captain Levi and Eld come back. They don't look worried.

'Eren,' Levi says wearily. 'Look again. Are the binoculars turned to full?'

'Yes, Sir.' Eren presses them to his eyes again.

'Over there,' Eld turns Eren's head right. He's grinning.

'Yes, Eld - the hell? They've got -'

'They're humans,' Eld snickers. 'That's a holiday park famous for its beautiful lake - and skinny dipping.'

Eren wobbles and nearly topples off the branch in surprise.

'I know some of those bodies look shocking, but didn't you notice they have genitals?' Levi growls.

Eld and Squad Leader Hange burst into laughter. Eren's face turns crimson.

'I wasn't paying attention to their genitals!' he splutters. 'Who does!? ... Sorry.'

'Pft, don't worry about it,' Squad Leader Hange giggles. 'Better safe than sorry! Hey, Levi, did you actually go down there to check? What did they say?'

'What's going on?' Connie's head pokes out of the treehouse's partial roof.

'Eren saw some skinny dippers and mistook them for titans.'

'Mikasa, no!'

'He what!?'

'Did he attack them?' Jean's head pops up next to Connie.

'No I didn't!'

'Oh my god!'

'Everyone be quiet!'

After a quick explanation, the squad leaders order everyone but the watch back to bed.

'Eren, you're a bigger idiot than I thought.'

'Shut up!

Just before Mikasa takes off, she looks back, and catches Squad Leader Levi chuckling.


	5. Workplace Hazards

_At work today_

Some funny stories about Eren, Armin and Mikasa's days in the Scouting legion. Chapter 5: Every now and then, they receive a grim reminder that accidents occur when using 3DMG, even if you're an experienced soldier.

Chapter 5: Work Hazards

**Slip** (Connie)

* * *

_Pssshhh! Thunk! Pssshhh! Thunk!_

Every now and then, they receive a grim reminder that accidents occur when using 3DMG, even if you're an experienced soldier.

_Pssshhh! Thunk! Pssshhh! Thunk! Pssshhh! -_

'Urghhhhh!'

Connie's strangled yell echoes through the small forest where they (the 104th Training Squad) are practising their 3D manuvering.

Armin lands safely on a branch, turns around, and sees that Connie has slipped on a branch, landing on his crotch. The other boy's face is deathly white and his mouth gapes open.

Everyone winces in sympathy. It happens to everyone at least once, more than that, actually. The instructors said it was better than cracking your head open, or breaking something, but it's no comfort while your balls are burning with pain.

'You OK, Connie?' Jean calls out from a tree above them.

'Argh, yeah!' Connie gasps. He leans back on his hands, breathing hard.

'Poor guy,' says Reiner, a couple of metres below Armin, to the right.

'Are you lot alright?' an older scout lowered himself down from the heights. 'What's the hold up?'

'Connie landed wrong,' Armin tells him politely.

The senior takes a look at Connie and understands immediately.

'Owch. I see. Well it happens to everyone at some point. We'll move on when he's recovered.'

* * *

**Multiple Casualties** (A shirt, Jean, Reiner... Levi)

The second time this happens since graduation is a warm, sunny morning. The newest recruits are practing their 3D manuvering in a small field boarded by a small cliff on one side and trees on the other.

They're doing circuit: 3D through the trees, a sprint across the field, then rock climbing up the cliff. Then tree climbing, sprinting, 3D up, abseiling down.

Armin is doing the 3D in the trees a second time when Betty's harpoon slips out. She quickly reshoots, but cuts across Mikasa's path, and her sword sheath rips Mikasa's shirt open.

'Oh my god!' Betty shrieks when she lands on a branch. 'I'm so sorry, Mikasa! Are you OK?'

'I'm fine.'

'Oi! Mikasa!' Jean flies toward them.

'What happened? Are you - Whoa!'

_Pssshhh! Thunk!_

_Thud!_

'Argh!'

He slams into a tree, front first. Legs spread.

'Urrrr...'

'Hey!' Reiner calls out. 'Is he OK?'

Reiner abseils down from the canopy. He looks at Jean, dangling and hunched in on himself, at Betty, perched uncertainly in a tree, at Mikasa, checking her straps for damage and he looses control of his descent. He plumets several metres before landing roughly on a branch and slipping again.

'Urgh!' He lands on his crotch.

'Hey! What's going on?'

Oh no, here comes Eren.

He ascends to Armin's branch to check out the situation.

'What happened here? Is anyone hurt?'

'Jean and Reiner are,' says Armin.

'Oh. Shit,' Eren smothers a laugh. They do look pretty sad curled up like that.

Then he notices Betty's nervous hovering and Mikasa's clothes.

'Oi, Mikasa! What happend to you?'

_Pssshhh! Thunk!_

He shoots over to her.

'I'm fine, Eren,' she reassures him. 'Betty accidently tore my shirt when she slipped.'

'Oh. OK then.' Eren tugs on her scarf. 'Wrap your scarf around your chest for now.'

With Eren's help, Mikasa is safely covered by the time Christa and Ymir swing by, followed by Connie.

Just in time then, Armin thinks. She's already brought down two of them.

'Ha ha ha ha ha!' Ymir shrieks with laughter. Connie holds his stomach and points.

'Oi! What's the hold up, brats?'

Here comes Squad Leader Levi, wondering why they haven't come out of the forest yet.

He lands in the middle of them all, a fork in a tall oak tree.

Mikasa explains the situation, to Jean and Reiner's embarrassment - it sounds even worse when she says it so bluntly.

Squad Leader Levi shakes his head.

'I really hope you brats can control your teenage urges better when we go outside,' he says.

Reiner and Jean blush horribly.

'I - I was just shocked!' Jean protests. God forbid Mikasa think he was some kind of pervert.

'Whatever. Just be more careful. Now, everyone who's balls haven't taken a beating, get moving.'

The Squad Leader straightens up, slips, and falls into the fork of the tree.

* * *

**A titan's other weakspot** (Eren, Eren's pride)

_'RRROOOAAARRR!'_

Flocks of startled birds rise from the trees, sending Armin ducking for cover.

Eren's titan roar is really loud and fierce; it even sends chills up Armin and Mikasa's spines.

But what's he roaring for? Armin knows the sound of Eren letting of steam. That was distress right now.

Holy crap, what could scare a titanised Eren on a normal day?

He takes off running for the field where Eren is taking part in an experiment. Are they doing horrible, painful tests on him?

_Thump! Thump! Thump!_

Mikasa's powerful footsteps come up behind Armin.

'Mikasa!'

'Armin! Do you know what's going on?'

'I don't know! Ha - ha - I just heard Eren scream! They're - ha - doing some - ha - ha - kind of test!'

They sprint around some apple trees and Armin nearly falls over in shock. Even Mikasa, normally so quick to take action, is stunned.

Eren, in his titan body, is curled up in fetal position, moaning in confused distress. Squad Leader Levi approaches quickly and cautiously. Squad Leader Hange is anxiously calling,

'Are you OK, Eren?'

There's a puddle of blood pooling and evaporating under his body.

The sight of blood snaps Mikasa out of her suprise. She runs over with such a furious face, Armin's afraid she's going to kill someone. Well, he might end up helping her.

'Eren!' she yells. 'I'm coming!'

'Squad Leader Hange!' Armin shouts. 'Squad Leader Levi! What's going on?'

'Ah, you two! Can you help us?'

'What did you do?'

He looks closer, and what the hell!? There's a sword sticking out of Eren's arse!

_'ARRRGGGHHH!'_

Eren roars with pain again as Mikasa braces her foot on his thigh and pulls the squad leader's sword out of his arse with a loud squelch!

More blood gushes out, more steam billows and hisses.

'Be careful!' Squad Leader Levi warns.

Mikasa moves to Eren's neck to carefully cut him out. Squad Leader Levi, Armin and Squad Leader Hange help her.

'Why was there a sword in Eren's bum?' asks Armin.

'I needed to see if it was a weak point for titans,' Squad Leader Hange explains, pointing out where to cut. Ew.

'A weak point? You mean like, to stop them from walking?'

Mikasa takes Eren's human body under his arms and pulls him down. His face is lined with reddish, veiny flesh that will disappear within a couple of hours.

'Yes. It was hard getting Eren to agree.'

'I wonder why?' growls Squad Leader Levi.

Eren's reported that he doesn't feel or least, doesn't notice pain as keenly in his titan form, but no man could be OK with a sword between his legs.

'I'm so sorry, Eren, are you alright? What did it feel like?'

Sitting and leaning on his friends, Eren murmurs,

'Painful.'

It's a few minutes before he's able to stand up and talk normally. By then, a couple of dozen soldiers have turned up, drawn by the noise. Including most of the 104th Training Squad.

'Hey, Reiner,' Connie mutters. 'You were right about that weak spot.'

'What?' he says.

'You said that a titan's other weak point was up its arse! In Trost, remember?'

'I was joking!' Reiner splutters. 'Titan's don't even have a hole there to put a sword through!'

Eren groans with embarrassment and hides his face in Armin's shoulder.


End file.
